What’s a Day Collar? Unveiling Meaning, Styles & Symbolism in 2023 Fashion

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whats a day collar

1. The Meaning and Purpose of a Day Collar

A day collar is a piece of jewelry worn by individuals in alternative lifestyles, such as BDSM or D/s relationships, to symbolize commitment, ownership, or submission. Unlike traditional collars used in these communities, which are typically worn only during scenes or specific play sessions, day collars are designed to be discreet and suitable for everyday wear.

The purpose of a day collar can vary depending on the individuals involved in the relationship. For some, it may serve as a constant reminder of their connection and commitment to each other. It can also act as a symbol of ownership or submission, indicating that one partner belongs to another. Additionally, wearing a day collar can provide a sense of comfort and security for those who identify as submissives or slaves, knowing that they are cherished and protected by their Dominant.

Meaningful Symbolism

Day collars often incorporate symbolic elements that hold personal significance for the wearer and their partner(s). These symbols can include locks and keys to represent ownership and trust, infinity symbols to signify eternal commitment, or engravings with meaningful phrases or dates. The design and symbolism of the day collar can be highly personalized to reflect the unique dynamics and values of the relationship.

Privacy and Discretion

One key aspect of day collars is their ability to be worn discreetly in public without drawing unwanted attention. They are typically designed to resemble regular necklaces or chokers rather than traditional BDSM collars. This allows individuals in alternative lifestyles to express their dynamic subtly while maintaining privacy about their personal lives.

2. The Origin and Popularity of Day Collars in Alternative Lifestyles

The concept of day collars emerged within alternative lifestyles as a way to bridge the gap between the private, intimate nature of BDSM or D/s relationships and the outside world. While traditional collars are often reserved for scenes or specific play sessions, day collars allow individuals to carry the symbolism and connection of their dynamic into their everyday lives.

The popularity of day collars has grown significantly in recent years, thanks in part to increased visibility and acceptance of alternative lifestyles. As these communities have become more mainstream, individuals have sought ways to express their identities and relationships openly while still respecting societal norms and expectations.

Online Communities and Influences

The rise of online communities dedicated to alternative lifestyles has also played a significant role in popularizing day collars. These platforms provide a space for individuals to connect, share experiences, and showcase their personal styles. Through these online spaces, people can find inspiration for designing or customizing their own day collars, as well as learn about the meanings and traditions associated with them.

Inclusive Fashion Trends

Another factor contributing to the popularity of day collars is the increasing trend toward inclusive fashion. As society becomes more accepting of diverse identities and expressions, there is a growing demand for jewelry that reflects individuality and personal beliefs. Day collars offer an opportunity for individuals in alternative lifestyles to incorporate their relationship dynamics into their personal style without compromising authenticity or comfort.

3. The Design and Appearance of a Typical Day Collar

Types of Designs:

There are various designs available for day collars, allowing individuals to choose one that suits their personal style and preferences. Some common designs include simple chains with a discrete lock or clasp, leather bands with decorative buckles or studs, and delicate necklaces with subtle symbols or charms.

Materials Used:

Day collars can be made from a wide range of materials, depending on the desired aesthetic and comfort level. Popular materials include stainless steel for a sleek and modern look, leather for a more traditional or BDSM-inspired design, and sterling silver or gold for an elegant and luxurious appearance.

Symbolic Elements:

Many day collars incorporate symbolic elements that hold special meaning to the wearer or their relationship dynamic. These can include engraved initials or names, heart-shaped pendants to represent love and commitment, or discreet symbols such as locks and keys to symbolize ownership or submission.

4. Symbolic and Sentimental Elements Associated with Wearing a Day Collar

Expression of Commitment:

Wearing a day collar can symbolize commitment between partners in various types of relationships. It serves as a visible reminder of the emotional connection they share, representing trust, loyalty, and dedication to each other’s well-being.

Sentimental Attachments:

Day collars often hold sentimental value due to the significance attached to them by the wearer. They may be given as gifts during special occasions like anniversaries or birthdays, becoming cherished mementos that evoke fond memories and emotions.

Sense of Belonging:

For individuals involved in BDSM dynamics or alternative lifestyles, wearing a day collar can provide a sense of belonging within their chosen community. It can signify their acceptance and identification with a particular subculture, allowing them to connect with like-minded individuals who share similar interests and values.

5. Common Materials Used to Make Day Collars

Stainless Steel:

Stainless steel is a popular material for day collars due to its durability, affordability, and versatility. It offers a sleek and modern aesthetic while being resistant to tarnish or corrosion, making it suitable for everyday wear.


Leather day collars are often associated with BDSM aesthetics and provide a more traditional or edgy look. Leather is known for its comfort, flexibility, and ability to develop a unique patina over time, adding character to the collar.

Sterling Silver/Gold:

For those seeking a more luxurious option, sterling silver or gold day collars offer an elegant and refined appearance. These materials can be crafted into intricate designs and may feature gemstones or engravings for added sophistication.

6. Etiquette and Protocol Surrounding the Wearing of Day Collars

Consent and Communication:

When it comes to wearing a day collar in BDSM dynamics, consent and open communication are essential. Both partners should discuss their desires, boundaries, and expectations regarding the collar’s meaning before incorporating it into their relationship.

Respecting Privacy:

It is important to respect the privacy of individuals wearing day collars as they may not wish to disclose the significance of their collar in public settings. Asking permission before touching or commenting on someone’s collar is considered polite etiquette within BDSM communities.

Care and Maintenance:

Proper care should be taken to maintain the condition of a day collar. This includes regular cleaning based on the specific material guidelines provided by the manufacturer, storing it in a safe place when not in use, and avoiding exposure to harsh chemicals or extreme temperatures.

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7. Choosing and Customizing Your Own Day Collar

Factors to Consider when Choosing a Day Collar

When choosing a day collar, there are several factors to consider to ensure it meets your preferences and needs. Firstly, think about the material of the collar. Common options include leather, metal, or fabric. Each material has its own aesthetic appeal and level of comfort, so choose one that aligns with your personal style and comfort level.

Another important consideration is the design of the day collar. Some people prefer simple and discreet designs, while others may opt for more elaborate or symbolic styles. Think about any symbols or motifs that hold significance to you or your relationship, as incorporating them into the design can add a personal touch.

Customizing Your Day Collar

If you want to further personalize your day collar, there are various customization options available. Engraving is a popular choice, allowing you to add initials, names, or meaningful phrases onto the collar itself. Another option is adding charms or pendants that represent something special to you.

Additionally, considering the closure mechanism is essential for both comfort and security. Some day collars have buckle closures for adjustability, while others may feature locks for added symbolism and commitment. Choose a closure mechanism that not only fits comfortably but also aligns with your desired level of symbolism.

8. Cultural and Historical References Related to Day Collars

The concept of wearing collars as symbols of ownership or submission has historical roots in various cultures throughout time. In ancient Rome, slaves were often marked with collars as a sign of their servitude. Similarly, during the Victorian era in Europe, women wore choker-style collars as fashion accessories that symbolized their societal roles.

In modern BDSM communities, the day collar has evolved to represent commitment and ownership within consensual power exchange relationships. It is important to note that the meaning and symbolism of day collars can vary among different individuals and communities. Some may view it purely as a fashion statement or a symbol of love and devotion, while others may see it as a more explicit representation of power dynamics.

9. Appropriate Contexts or Situations for Wearing a Day Collar

Within Consensual Power Exchange Relationships

The primary context for wearing a day collar is within consensual power exchange relationships, such as Dominant/submissive or Master/slave dynamics. In these relationships, the day collar serves as a visible symbol of commitment, ownership, and mutual consent. It signifies the submissive’s willingness to submit and the Dominant’s responsibility to protect and care for their partner.

Outside of Power Exchange Dynamics

While day collars are most commonly associated with BDSM relationships, they can also be worn in other contexts. Some individuals choose to wear them as symbols of personal empowerment or self-expression. Others may wear them discreetly under clothing as a reminder of their own desires and preferences.

It is important to respect individual boundaries and understand that not everyone wearing a day collar is necessarily involved in a power exchange relationship. Each person’s reasons for wearing a day collar may differ, so it is crucial not to make assumptions based solely on its presence.

10. Varying Perception and Acceptance of Day Collars Among Different Communities or Subcultures

The perception and acceptance of day collars can vary significantly among different communities or subcultures. In some BDSM communities, day collars are widely recognized symbols of commitment and submission, embraced by both participants in power exchange dynamics and the larger community. These communities often have established rituals or ceremonies surrounding the presentation and acceptance of day collars.

However, outside of BDSM communities, day collars may be less understood or recognized. Some individuals may mistake them for fashion accessories or misunderstand their significance. It is important to approach discussions about day collars with an open mind and educate others about their meaning if necessary.

Furthermore, different cultural backgrounds and societal norms can influence the perception of day collars. In some cultures, wearing a collar in public may be seen as inappropriate or taboo, while in others, it may be more accepted or even celebrated as a symbol of personal freedom and expression.

In conclusion, a day collar refers to a discreet and often decorative necklace worn by individuals in consensual BDSM relationships as a symbol of commitment and ownership during everyday activities.

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